Sunday, December 17, 2017

Monday Model Behavior - My Friend Simona Moon

I am allowed to be a fan. I love the way she never appears to age and the only way I can kinda tell what year the photo was taken is to look at the length and sometimes the color of her hair. But she never looks a day older. Romanian don't crack I guess. She is always very kind to me from the first day I sent her a Facebook message all those years ago. She has breathed the air in more places on this Earth than anyone I have ever known so she has perspective and a sense of humor based on lived life experience. Every one should be an expert on ONE think I believe. Simona is an expert on traditional Romanian blouses and costumes. I love nothing more than a pretty European girl in a peasant blouse.




He Just Wanted The Gas. Just Give Him The Gas And Don't Try To Get Cute With The Humungus.

“You have defied me! You will know the vengeance of The Lord Humungus!   I promise you nobody, nobody gets out of here alive!!”


People Get The Same Thing Wrong About Me All The Time, Santo


Now You Understand - I Teach Because I Love

Just So You Bitches Know - I Called For This Casting In 2010

Now I can wait until Wonder Woman III before they introduce Wonder Girl, Donna Troy but I INSIST that the role go to Selena Gomez. She is perfect for the part and you all know it. So I don't want to hear anything but your overwhelming support for this idea.



I Don't Hate This

Welcome To The Jungle Bitches

From The Archives Of The Cave Of Cool

The Cave Of Cool Has Human Enemies Also - Heino
OMG, this freak again. I swear he's been following me around all my life. A few months ago someone posted one of his albums and it seemed so familiar to me. I knew that I had seen this numnut somewhere before.

I went through our family record collection (that contains many sad, sad albums - we all bought them and mom was the least discriminating in her musical taste, especially when we lived in Germany from 1971 - 1976) and there is was! A Heino album. With that albino face starring at me from behind his Dr. Octopus/Roy Orbison glasses.

He's like a Nazi super soldier project that went bad. His only superpower was a high soprano singing voice and immortality (and of course the ability to make a polyester suit look fabulous).

Did you notice that he didn't put out just HITS. No, they were SUPERHITS. AAAAAAAAAA. If I didn't know the beach sun would melt him I would claim he was working with my eight legged enemy. In this case however, I believe they have separate agendas but similar end goals. Fuck you Heino.

I refuse to post any of his You Tube videos because I don't spread the devil's evil, I only fight against it.


First Posted On The Cave Of Cool Wednesday June 10th 2010 But Is More Relevant Today

I didn't write it but I believe every word.

"Dear Girls, Ladies, Women, Sisters, Wives, Mothers, Girlfriends, Daughters and all those of the Female Persuasion,

You are beautiful. Really. Not just in the ‘inside-that-counts’ way. You are beautiful in pretty much all the ways. You perfectly complement our strengths and weaknesses with yours. Your ability to love and relate keeps the world going round, and none of us would be half the men we are without you.

We think you are totally unfathomable and mysterious – our lives are so much richer for the complicated dance it is to try and figure you out.

We cannot imagine why you need so many shoes, or why you voluntarily carry half a metric tonne around in your bags all day. We don’t know why Robert Pattinson appeals to you so much, or what it is that makes you cry during that bit in Titanic. We can’t figure out where you learned to cook so well (or what drove you to incorporate tofu in your meals), and how you find the time to do all your hair and makeup every day. We have no idea how you make ordinary pieces of fabric and cloth look so good when you wear them, or what it is about you that makes you so hard to say no to when you do.

And we REALLY don’t know why you haven’t been told all of this a million times before. Why you don’t deeply believe this all to be true about yourself already. We can’t understand why your father, brother, boss, husband, ex-husband, boyfriend, ex-boyfriend, boy who is a friend, grandfather, stranger you talked to on the train that time, fiancé or uncle didn’t tell you how profoundly you’ve affected them, and how much they love you.

Well. Actually, that’s not entirely true. We can understand a little of why they didn’t do that. We men are almost universally lame at recognizing the value of a well-spoken word, and how important one is to you. We’re not as naturally gifted as you are in connecting to our own hearts, thoughts and feelings, and translating them for you. We might pretend to be cool, calm, collected and tough, but we can also be pretty scared of you too. Not that you’re scary, but it’s just that we can’t understand you, and fear is all about the things unknown.

But this is no excuse. And the point is that you should have been told and shown all of this, and much more, throughout your life, but you weren’t. Sometimes we just figure you already know and don’t want you to get a big head. Sometimes we fear the rejection that could come with being so candid and open-hearted. Sometimes we’re just not man enough to take the plunge.

And so we’re sorry. For the we have treated you – or, more probably, not treated you. You deserve better and are worth more. Some or us read your letters here, and our faux-macho hearts break a little bit inside, and want to correct this, if it’s still possible. If you haven’t lost faith in us completely.

You inspire and amaze us, you dazzle and intrigue us. You are worth the lifetime it takes to get to know you. You are the princess in the tower we are willing to climb to reach you. You are all the fairytale heroines you thought you weren’t allowed to think you were. You are God’s gift to men, and you don’t know how much we love you.

I would like to say that we will do better from now on, and always remind you of your value, but let’s be honest – you know how we are. If we forget in future, please give us a smack on the head or punch in the arm. We can take it. We just can’t take hints very well.

Yours sincerely,

Boys, Gentlemen, Men, Brothers, Husbands, Fathers, Boyfriends, Sons and all those of the Male Persuasion"

His Ennui Is Delicious To Me

Victor Safonkin,
Gone Out Sun, 2005

I Think She Is Trying To Seduce Me


Neil Gaiman Gets It Right

Because we are ALL imposters deep down.
(click to enlarge)

Only If Hollywood Had Any Vision


This Is Why Candy Canes Are Banned At Day Care Centers


Saturday, December 16, 2017

I Teach Because I Love